It is good to have conversations with your children about their feelings and opinions regarding your divorce. Listen to what they say. Try to understand what they are feeling. Do not try to negate their feelings or tell them they are wrong for feeling what they feel. Always leave the door open to further communication about this subject without demeaning your ex. Over time your children may come to understand why the divorce took place. If they don’t, at least you have opened the door to communication and understanding which in time may help with their healing process.
Never underestimate the effect that divorce has on your children even if they are adults. Because they are rarely consulted about the decision, they rarely understand the full story of why their parents divorced. In all to many cases one or both parents will belittle, berate, and in some cases even lie about their ex to their children in order to gain the child’s sympathy and loyalty. In an oft…en confusing and stressful time this can start to break the bonds between parents and children. Misinformation can lead children to think one parent or the other failed and didn’t do enough to preserve the marriage. While in some cases this may be true, in most cases there are two people that cause the marriage to fall apart. Always accept your share of the responsibility for your marriage failing.