If you have been in any long-term relationship, you more than likely have developed emotional triggers to certain events, actions, words, etc. These trigger points will usually cause you to have an emotional reaction that may or may not be warranted for a particular situation. These trigger points are usually learned responses to even…ts of the past but may be totally inappropriate responses to situations today. The key is to recognize why you are reacting the way you are. The second key is to make sure that the reaction is appropriate for the current situation. The third key is to change or “un-learn” your response if it is inappropriate for your present situation.
As an example, let’s say you developed a response to something your ex-spouse or ex-boyfriend/girlfriend did. In the beginning, the first couple of times it happened, it may have been funny or cute. Over time, however, it became very annoying and you developed a very negative reaction. Now, when a similar situation arises, you automatically react negatively even if your new mate has never displayed this as a common character issue. You need to be aware of the trigger point and then explain it to your new mate so they understand that it is not them that you are reacting to but to past situations as a learned behavior.
If you cannot figure out why you react the way you do to certain situations, you may want to seek professional guidance. Correcting bad or unreasonable behavior will go a long way in making future relationships better.