Just this week I was reading an article by a men’s dating coach. In it the coach talked about one of her clients that said he and his girlfriend had great chemistry in the beginning of their relationship. They did a lot of things together, enjoyed being with each other and eventually had great sex. After a while, this couple discovered …that they had almost nothing in common and the relationship was on the rocks.
What this coach described and what her client thought was chemistry was actually infatuation. Infatuation is a short-term or, as defined in the dictionary, foolish passion. Infatuation is the giddiness you feel early on in a relationship, the butterflies in the pit of your stomach, and the desire to be with your mate all of your free time. During this time you rarely see or recognize any of your potential mates flaws and imperfections, your lack of common interests, and even the lack of common values.
Chemistry, on the other hand, is part of the emotional connection that develops over time and lasts the life of your relationship. This is the long-term desire to be with your mate through good times and bad. It is a singleness of focus on this relationship. It is the connection the remains long after the butterflies and giddiness have gone. It is the desire to sacrifice your wants and needs in order to take care of your mate. It is all of this and so much more. Chemistry is that part of the connection that transcends words. It is what makes your soul mate so special.