Are you the person you would #love to
What are the great qualities that make you who you are today? Are you thoughtful, kind and considerate? Are you a self starter driven to accomplish goals? Are you a great parent, a great cook, a great mechanic, a great _________ (you fill in the blank)? When was the last time you turned your focus inward to figure out who you are and what you have to offer as a mate? For most of us, that answer is never! It is important to understand what type of person you are and what type of person you would love to date. If you are not the type of person you would enjoy dating, what makes you think someone else would enjoy dating you.
How do you become the person you would love to date? There are as many answers to that question as there are people in this world. Only you can determine what is right for you. Only you know what makes you interesting and what you may need to do to be a more attractive partner.
Being a better you, someone you would love to date, takes a little effort on your part. It can just be a matter of staying up to date on current events so you can hold a reasonable conversation with your significant other, friends and acquaintances. Or, it may be more intensive such as earning a degree to improve your career possibilities and make yourself more financially attractive.
Here are some fundamentals to think about as you consider being the person you would love to date.
Keep learning. My experience is that people in healthy relationships keep learning. Take time to read a book…and not just some cheap romance, vampire or zombie novel. Read something that will expand your mind. Reading books about history, biographies, relationships, etc. will help grow your mind. The most successful people are always reading books. Set a goal to read a book a month. You will be amazed at the knowledge you can accumulate in a very short period of time. Being a more well-read person will always make you more attractive to a mate.
Watch your language. As an example, I recently read an article about navigating the b**ch matrix. While it had some reasonable advice, it is disappointing to see the use of such language as it relates to women. This is no way to think of a woman or to talk about a woman! And…it was a woman using this language and giving the advice. Using foul, vulgar or derogatory language in any conversation will degrade any respect people may have for you.
Consider exploring new activities. Find new things to try such as physical activities to make you more physically fit. Maybe you would enjoy going on an ocean cruise or just canoeing down a lazy river. There are any number of things you can try. Your only limit is your imagination. Even if it turns out to be something that you will never do again, at least you will have the experience and something you can possibly talk about for years to come. Finding new activities to try expands who you are and helps create a better, more interesting you.
Don’t wait for things to happen. Don’t wait for people to come and search for you. Step out of your comfort zone from time to time and seek out new friends and new adventures. This alone will help make you a more well rounded and attractive person to date.
If you have trouble figuring out what you have to offer; if you are having trouble stepping back into the dating life after being in a long-term relationship, seek help from a competent coach or counselor. No matter what you choose to do, the key is to be proactive in you life and become a more dateable you.
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About the author.
Over the past 30 years, Rick Soetebier has been a student of self and relationship improvement. He has become and astute observer of people and relationship issues. Over time and through a relationship and marriage that ended after 25 years, Rick started to develop some of the fundamental principles that are found in his book, Dating Backward: A practical guide to dating and finding your soul mate. You can benefit through his observations, education, research and personal experience by letting him help you make better relationship decisions.