Do you #respect your significant other? #Loving #Relationships
In recent months I have done a blog on self-respect. This week, I want to talk about respecting your significant other (SO). First off, lets take a look at what respect looks like. Respect for your mate can take a lot of different forms and will usually consist of some or all of the following illustrations.
Do you respect his/her intellect?
When they speak, do you tune them out, start thinking about your reply before they finish talking or put them down for their opinion? If you said yes to any one of these situations, you probably lack respect for your mate. Can you have a serious difference of opinion? Absolutely you can. Lack of respect comes when you think your opinion is superior or your mate’s intellect is inferior. It also comes when you start to put down your mate for their thoughts or opinions.
Do you dress for your SO?
Most of us tend to dress for the person we are with and appropriately for the situation. We generally want them to be proud to be seen with us. However, there are some that choose to dress in whatever makes them comfortable. If you are dressing in jeans, t-shirt and ball cap for a business casual or more formal event, you are missing the mark! (Ladies, this applies to you also!) If you’re dressing only to please yourself you could be sending the signal that your SO isn’t worthy of your respect. Guys, if you don’t know how to dress for your lady (or aren’t sure) ask for help. Your lady will tell you what she likes. Ladies, if you grew up as a tom-boy it’s okay, but you don’t have to dress like one all the time. Ask your friends or find an image consultant for advice. It’s not necessarily about spending a lot of time improving your image, it’s about putting in a little effort. And you know what they say, a little effort goes a long way!
Are you on time?
It has been said that being consistently and habitually late is a sign of poor time management. It can also signal an issue of self-centeredness that shows a total lack of respect for the value of other people’s time. If you are habitually late, ask yourself why. Dig beneath the obvious answer; “I have too much to do!” What is really causing you to be late? Is it that you don’t what to do something someone else wants you to do? Is it that you want to control every situation or be the center of attention?
Do you respect their wishes and desires or is it all about you?
Do you think your SO’s wishes and desires are silly, frivolous or unimportant? This can be a big sign of disrespect and maybe even emotional immaturity. If your wishes and desires are the only ones important to you, you are going to have problems with virtually every relationship you have.
These are just a few of the possibilities of disrespect. I’m sure you can think of so many more! At times we all become set in our ways and complacent about our relationships. And sometimes we just need a good swift kick in the butt to get us to wake up and pay attention to what is important to our partners. Is a relationship bad when one or two of these issues are present? Not necessarily. But, if you or your mate is adamant about things being their way and having no desire to consider the other’s wants, needs and desires, you are more than likely in an unhealthy relationship.
If you don’t respect your SO and refuse to adjust your thinking, your relationship will always be a struggle. If your mate is disrespectful of you, you have two choices about your relationship; 1) Live with it or 2) Leave it.
A relationship is two sided. There has to be give and take on both sides. If it’s all give by one side and all take by the other, you are in the wrong relationship, especially if you are the one doing all the giving. It is far better to be single than to struggle in an unhealthy relationship.
If you have questions about dating, feel free to drop me a line at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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About the author.
Over the past 30 years, Rick Soetebier has been a student of self and relationship improvement. He has become an astute observer of people and relationship issues. Over time and through a relationship and marriage that ended after 25 years, Rick started to develop some of the fundamental principles that are found in his book, Dating Backward: A practical guide to dating and finding your soul mate. You can benefit through his observations, education, research and personal experience by letting him help you make better relationship decisions.