When people get frustrated with their dating results, I often hear that they just want to give up on dating. When asked “why?” the answer is “Because there are no more good men (or women) left! They’re all taken.” Not only is this type of thinking a major limiting belief, it’s a huge pile of crap!
If you’re not finding the right man or woman, you’re not putting in the right effort and your negative belief system becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy. It’s just that simple. Roughly one third of the US population is single. Assuming it’s split about equally between men and women, that means there are about 62 million men and 62 million women to choose from.
It’s okay to get frustrated from time to time and take a break from dating. That’s natural. But, to say you are giving up? The problem with quitting is that most people quit right before they find success. By quitting you’ve become too lazy to put in the effort necessary to find the right person for you. This isn’t rocket science! There’s someone for everyone. I don’t care how long your list of Must Haves is. I don’t care how picky you are! There is someone out there for you. The question then becomes; Are you willing to do what it takes to find the right relationship?
I view dating and seeking that special relationship no differently than any other marketing goal. If the strategy and techniques you’re using aren’t working, you need to change your strategy and techniques until you become successful.
Get off your butt and make changes in your life!
You can’t continue to do what you’ve always done and expect different results! That is, by most accounts, the definition of insanity. How many people do you need to date to find the right person for you? Probably a lot. You need to keep going until you find your extraordinary relationship!
So, what changes do you need to make? Here is a short list of things to consider; a change in make-up, hair style, clothing style, activities you do, hang out with different friends, go out and make new friends, get in better physical shape, or find a new hobby just to name a few. Any one of these changes could make a big difference. Some changes are easier to make than others.
If you are unwilling to make changes in your life and explore new possibilities, don’t complain that you can’t find what you are looking for. It’s like going back to the refrigerator multiple times when you have a craving just to see if something has miraculously appeared since the last time you looked. Don’t come to me looking for sympathy. I’m not going to be your enabler. You have plenty of them around you right now. If you’re really serious, push away the people that sympathize and commiserate with you. They’re part of the problem by not challenging your thought processes. They enable you to stay stuck in your own little pity party. Why? Because they don’t want to be alone in their pity party.
The bottom line is that if you want that extraordinary relationship, you have to put in the effort…a lot of effort, to make it happen. There is no magic formula to finding the right relationship. Keep making changes to what you are doing in your efforts to find the man or woman of your dreams until you are successful.
If you doubt me, just keep doing what you’re doing. BUT, if you’re serious about finding your soul mate, start making the changes you know you need to make. If you’re struggling and are looking for motivation, accountability, or if you need to learn key dating and relationship tips and techniques, I can help. Simply click on the link below which will take you to my website and you can explore some of the options available such as my book Dating Backward, workshops and classes, and personal coaching. Or, simply drop me a note and we can schedule some time to talk.
Over the past 30 years, Rick Soetebier has been a student of self and relationship improvement. He is an astute observer of people and relationship issues. Over time and through a relationship and marriage that ended after 25 years, Rick started to develop some of the fundamental principles that are found in his book, Dating Backward: A practical guide to dating and finding your soul mate. You can benefit from his observations, education, research and personal experience by letting him help you make better relationship decisions. Date consciously and settle for nothing less than extraordinary in your next relationship.