#210 – You Can’t Change Someone so Stop Trying!
“Will you accept me for who I am? Will you accept me not just for my good qualities but with all my faults and imperfections too? Don’t try to change me to fit some preconceived idea of how you think I should look and act. If that’s your intent, let me go.”
Sadly, to many people think they can get into a relationship and then try to change their mate to conform to their picture of the perfect relationship. They see potential. There’s a darker side to trying to change someone. It’s extremely manipulative and inherently evil.
You Can’t Change Someone so Stop Trying!
Narcissists and gaslighters may try to change an emotionally healthy person for sick controlling reasons. In personal and/or professional environments, they manipulate by controlling relationships, including telling others how they should think, feel, and behave under their unreasonable restrictions and scrutiny. They often become critical, angry, intimidating, and/or hostile toward those who fail to bow down to their directives. Gaslighter manipulation is often highly aggressive, with punitive measures directed toward those who fail to recognize and obey their self-perceived authority.
I hope today’s topic is helpful. For more information like this check out my other blogs and videos. While you’re here, request a copy of The 5 Biggest Dating and Relationship Mistakes and How to Avoid Them. It’s FREE for the asking!
Thanks for watching. Have a great and blessed day!”
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Comments
Thanks for your thoughtful topics! I always enjoy reading it. On this topic…If you’re in a relationship and something bothers you about yiur partner isn’t it better to talk to them about it instead of just dumping them, assuming they are not willing to change the behavior?
Hi Jamie,
Thank you for your kind words and great question. Under normal circumstances, I would agree with you. It’s always best to talk it out and express how their actions (or inaction) impact you. For example you might explain that you feel hurt and embarrassed when he/she treats you in a certain way. It will then be up to you to determine whether you stay or leave the relationship based on their actions. That being said, a mate that is a narcissist or a gaslighter will try to control you emotionally, if not physically. This is the type of relationship you should run from. In my opinion, the only thing you might share is why you’re leaving. But, if you do, be prepared for a full on assault of apologies with promises of change that are only temporary at best. The narcissist and gaslighter are in serious need of counseling or therapy and it’s not your place to be a substitute for professional help.
I hope this sufficiently addresses your question.
Have a great and blessed day.
Rick