A couple of times a year I’ll pick up a book on how to improve marital relationships. Each time I do, I’m reminded of the magnificent opportunity that lies ahead of you.
You see, when I read these books, I recognize the fact that the author is telling us how to fix a relationship that was broken from the very start!
They continually re-enforce the fact that they didn’t make the best choice in the beginning. They got all wrapped up in the infatuation and raging hormones of a new relationship. They settled!
Most of you have never experienced an extraordinary relationship.
Sadly, most of you don’t even believe in soul mates simply because you’ve never found one. In business it is said that most people give up right before they find success. I wonder how many of you have done the same thing with your dating and relationships.
You found someone that was good… not your soul mate, not extraordinary, not even great…and you stopped looking. Then, over time, problems started to appear.
Actually, the problems were there almost from the beginning, you just didn’t see them because the infatuation hid most of them from you. You didn’t start to recognize them until the infatuation started to wear off. By that time, you had already committed to this relationship. Maybe you had already married.
The reason your problems grew in magnitude is because you couldn’t figure out how to communicate with each other. As your frustrations and problems grew, your ability to communicate diminished.
Don’t miss your golden opportunity!
If you’ve followed me for any length of time, you know I talk about making your Must Have and Deal Breaker lists on a regular basis and today is no exception! These lists are an integral part of keeping you focused on what’s important to you.
Losing sight of what you truly want and desire in a relationship is a major cause of settling. Not believing that there is someone out there that has everything you’re looking for is another. Believing that you’re not good enough is yet another reason most people settle.
You need to get rid of the stinkin’ thinkin’!
It’s okay to be picky. It’s okay to want what you want. After being divorced for 9 years, people regularly ask me, “Why haven’t you found someone yet?” My answer is always the same. “I’m not willing to settle for less than extraordinary. I’m looking for my soul mate.”
Most people don’t like to hear this because then they start to think about their own dating and relationships. They start to wonder how committed they are to finding their soul mate or extraordinary relationship. Most people aren’t willing to put in the effort necessary to avoid settling!
Let me be crystal clear!
Even the best relationships are going to have problems. Life happens. Someone loses a job. Someone dies. Someone gets sick. There are any number of situations that can put stress on a relationship or marriage. When you’re with your soul mate, the two of you will be much better equipped to handle whatever life throws at you.
When you’re with your soul mate, you’re connected on a much deeper level than you ever connected with anyone before. You enhance each other’s lives. You have each other’s back.
Keep going. Keep looking.
The key is to not settle. If you’ve found a relationship that’s good but missing a couple of the characteristics you truly desire, keep looking!
It takes great courage and faith to walk away from someone good and search for someone extraordinary…your soul mate.
But Rick, what if I never find anyone better? The answer is: You never will, if you settle. You’ll only find extraordinary if you are strong enough to keep looking…if you’re willing to give up okay for amazing!
If you need help recognizing what a healthy relationship should look like, check out my blog #220 – The 8 Key Element of an Extraordinary Relationship. Then, request your copy of The 5 Biggest Dating and Relationship Mistakes and How to Avoid Them. This will help you recognize red flags of poor relationship more quickly.
If you really want a deeper look at great dating skills, order a copy of my book Dating Backward. It’s available on my website or on Amazon.com.
I hope today’s topic is helpful. For more information like this check out my other blogs and videos right here at RickSoetebier.com.
Please take a few minutes to go to my Facebook page, Rick Soetebier – Relationship Coach. When you click the Like button, also make sure you click the See First button so that you see my daily tips, insights, and inspirations in your news feed.
Then join me on Facebook weekly for Monday Mastery, Live at 5:00 where I talk about whatever’s happened over the weekend and how it applies to dating and relationships.
Have a great and blessed day!