Do you truly desire to have that special someone in your life?
If you’re like most people, the answer is YES!
So often I hear people say they desire to be in a great relationship. They so desire to be in a relationship yet they rarely have a date. Why is that?
I believe that their desire is real, but I’m not sure they believe that they can have what they want. Most people have been so beaten down in life that their dreams, goals, and desires seem unachievable.
What’s the first thing you do when you don’t believe something is achievable? You quit! You give up trying!
What you should be doing is just the opposite…IF it’s really important to you!
Seeing isn’t believing. Believing is seeing.
You’ve all heard the saying “I’ll believe it when I see it.” That statement lacks faith. It lacks belief that something is possible. It says that what you want is impossible.
The reality is that anyone that has accomplished anything of importance in their life has first believed that it could be done. They didn’t necessarily know HOW it was going to be done. They just knew they were going to do it.
As entrepreneur and business mentor, Marie Forleo says, “Everything is figureoutable!”
When you want something badly enough, you will find a way. You may make mistakes; you may stumble and fall. But, along the way you’ll figure out what works and doesn’t work for you.
If finding someone at church isn’t working, try looking work (not necessarily coworkers though). If you’re not finding anyone there, try social groups or clubs. If that’s not working, try charity or social events. If that’s not working try online dating. If that’s not working try social media. If that doesn’t work for you, figure something else out. Hopefully you get my point.
Keep trying new things. Keep looking and never give up until you find your soul mate.
Finding your soul mate is no different than any other life goal.
As I’ve shared with you countless times, you have to be crystal clear about what your soul mate relationship looks like to you. This is the foundation for building your search.
You don’t have to know where to look or what to say right now. You’ll figure that out as you go.
What you should know is how to dress appropriately or how to do your hair and makeup. While guys need to pay attention to dressing right, we’re generally blessed to not have to worry about makeup and which shoes to wear with that outfit.
You’ll discover and learn how to do the right things along the way. This means you have to take an active role in dating and learning what to do and what not to do. You have to spend time researching where to look for the type of person you want in your life.
People always ask me where all the good men or women are. I wish I had a crystal ball to tell you exactly where to look, but mine has been on backorder for several years now.
This isn’t rocket science!
The most important part is to just show up. Have a mindset that you’re going to make this happen. Don’t worry about how, just focus on what you want for the time being.
Once you know what you want, you start working backwards. Figure out where the type of person you’re looking for would hang out. If you’re into bicycling, dancing, music, art, sports, etc., join groups that focus on those interests. Start connecting with people there.
I’ve recently talked to one woman that is finally so determined to find her soul mate that her goal is to have as many as 5 to 6 dates a week. She’s playing for keeps. It takes an incredible amount of effort and focus. And I’m confident she’ll find the man of her dreams.
She has the right mindset! She’s tired of being single and knows exactly what she wants. If you don’t have the right mindset, now’s the time to change it and you can do it today.
You have to be so fed up with being alone and on your own that you will do what it takes to make your life better. That means “filling up your date calendar”.
This is where you have to get proactive. Whether you’re a man or a woman, you have to start conversations and be able to do it anywhere, anytime, and with anyone.
Earlier I mentioned a number of different places to search for your potential soul mate. You can start with looking in just one place to begin with, but don’t limit yourself. You should be looking in some of the most obvious places first. Then, start to think outside the box. Start conversations with someone you might be interested in online. Make a friend request to someone you might like on Facebook.
A side note: Some social media sites like Facebook can be great places to get to know someone without ever having a conversation. Look at their posts and see what interests them. If they share some of the same likes, values, and morals, you’re fairly likely to see it on their page.
Don’t be a stalker! Use social media as a tool to help you ferret out people that might be a match that are already within your circle of social media friends.
The most important takeaway today is to be proactive. Start talking to people. Ladies, don’t be afraid to reach out to the man. He probably has no clue that you’re interested in him.
Start asking people out. Sure, you’re going to get turned down, stood-up, and even ghosted. That’s okay. Just keep going. Getting turned down is not failure! It just means they’re not interested…and that’s okay too. There are hundreds, if not thousands of people to talk to and possibly date.
And if you don’t ask, the answer will always be no.
“All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them” Walt Disney
I hope this information will help you step out of your comfort zone and help you be more proactive in your dating life.
Join me next week for “Can bitching about dating be ruining your dating life?”