#262 – Can bitching about dating be ruining your dating life?
The answer is Yes! So knock it off!
For years I’ve heard how tough it is to find a good man date and when you do find one, all he wants is sex.
It is really easy to fall into this mindset. It’s human nature to see the negative in almost everything. Don’t let this become your reality…because it’s not true.
Recently I’ve been inundated by negative comments about women’s dating lives. They all complain about how they’ve tried and are now giving up. They talk about being cheated on by their exes and can never trust again. They talk about being widowed and not being able to find someone new. All men suck!
Let’s take a look at reality.
I’ll concede that something bad may have happened to you in the past. Whether you’ve been cheated on, abused physically or mentally, gaslighted, scammed, or anything else, it doesn’t mean that everyone you meet will treat you the same way…unless you are attracted to their personality traits.
Not everyone is like your ex. Not everyone will treat you poorly. Remember, you are the common denominator in all your experiences. You have a choice in all you do.
When you seem to find nothing but losers, users and abusers, it doesn’t mean that the world is filled with them. It means you don’t know how to identify red flags of bad relationships.
To say there are no good men (or women) left is to say that every single person left is vile, evil, useless. You’re also saying that everyone getting married today, this week, this month, this year, and forever going forward are doomed to a failed relationship because all the good ones are taken.
Sounds a little goofy doesn’t it?
This is going to be a hard pill to swallow!
Could it be that you’ve made bad choices? Could it be that you might need to take a look inside of you to see what could be causing you to pick people that hurt you?
I’d venture a guess that most of you have been unwilling to accept any responsibility in your choices. It’s always someone else’s fault! When you don’t, or won’t, look at the roll you’re playing in making bad choices, you’ll continue to be hurt and disappointed.
I hate to break this to you, but it’s more likely your negative global attitude that is keeping the great ones away than the fact that there aren’t any good ones left. Your total focus on the negative is exactly what you’ll find.
It’s said that there are enough problems in the world; you don’t need to go looking for more.
If you’ve already predetermined that I’m a user, abuser, and loser, then guess what! I’ll never be the right one for you.
I’m not suggesting that you look at everything through rose colored glasses. What I am suggesting is that you start looking for the positive in people, that you start focusing on what you want in a relationship rather than what you don’t want.
With a habitually negative attitude, you’ll drive all the best candidates away. No one, and I mean NO ONE that’s worthwhile wants to be around someone that is always negative.
Let that sink in!
Every positive person I know distances themselves from negativity as much as they can…even if it’s family. Almost everyone knows that one person that can suck the air out any room they walk into. If you don’t know someone like that, maybe you’re that person.
No one want to continually wallow in someone else’s misery. If you’re the one that always has something to complain about, it’s time to do a reality check.
Is life really that miserable for you? Or, have you just been sucked into a rut that you don’t realize you’re in?
Everyone has something to be thankful for. It can be as simple as breathing clean air, drinking clean water, or food to eat. Maybe you could be thankful for family, a home, a car, or a job. Maybe you could be thankful for all the experiences you’ve had, even if they’re not the experiences you’ve wanted.
Maybe you could be thankful that the sun came up this morning. Even if your life hasn’t gone the way you wanted or expected, maybe you could be grateful that you still believe in God. You tell me what you’re thankful for.
Without some attitude of gratitude, you’ll always be unhappy. Nothing will ever be good enough.
When it comes to finding another great love after your spouse passes away you have to learn to expect a different love. It can be just as great! It will just be different.
Don’t let your negative past experiences control your today and tomorrow. Open your mind to the possibility that there are plenty of great people out there for you to meet. Change your negative global beliefs to positive ones and see what happens.
If I’m wrong, the worst that could happen is that you stay stuck right where you are. BUT…if I’m right, you’re in for opportunities that you have only dreamed about. Stay positive. Stay focused. Always look for the things that you want in a relationship and avoid focusing on what you don’t want.
I hope this information will help you step out of your comfort zone and help you be more proactive in your dating life.
Join me next week for “Online dating sucks…right?”