Who are the people you’re letting into your life and why?
This is a particularly important question you need to ask yourself. We let people into our lives for specific reasons.
Do you find them entertaining? Maybe you need someone to commiserate with, you know, someone you can complain about life to and they agree and complain with you.
What about someone that has a positive influence in your life? Do you let them in? Or, are they intimidating because they might hold you accountable?
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The older I get, the fewer people I have around me. As I think about it, my three closest friends have been in my life for at least 25 years.
I just don’t tolerate BS very well anymore. If you can’t bring some value to my life or I can’t bring value to yours, there’s not much point in the connection.
I have to make it very clear that I’m not talking about acquaintances. I have hundreds, if not thousands of acquaintances. I’m talking about the people closest to me, the ones that have an influence on my life. They’re the ones I can count on during good times and bad.
Who are you letting into your life?
Why are they there? Do they add value, or do they drain the very essence of life from you?
I think we’ve all had someone like that in our lives at one time or another. They may not have started that way; they just took a wrong turn in your life.
Maybe they helped you out at one time. Maybe they’re a family member. Or, maybe you just feel sorry for them.
One of the biggest issues I run into from a coaching perspective is a negative mindset.
It’s a natural human tendency to look for the negative in life. It’s a self-preservation trait that’s hardwired right into us.
It’s also a huge emotional black hole that can suck us down into the depths of depression. It’s extremely easy to get pulled down into the black hole of negativity and it’s even harder to climb out.
This is why I’m continually harping on attitude. I’m not saying that all you have to do is think positive thoughts and your whole life will be rainbows, butterflies, and unicorns.
It’s a matter of finding and keeping a positive attitude.
If you’re surrounding yourself with people that are complaining about everything or are always the victim of someone doing them wrong, you have the wrong people in your life.
This doesn’t mean that they’re bad people. They just shouldn’t have a seat at your table.
You may decide not to remove them from your life altogether, but it would be a good idea to keep them at an arm’s length away.
By keeping negative people at a distance, you free your mind to be filled with more positive, uplifting thoughts and ideas. It also makes room for people that will lift you up, encourage you, and hold you accountable for being the best person you can be.
If you’re in that black hole of negativity right now, it’s okay.
Work at identifying the reasons for your negativity. Lord knows there is so much in today’s world that can drag you down.
Everything from politics, COVID, family issues, protests and riots, and the people you surround yourself with can and do have a major impact on your attitude.
Start clawing your way out of that hole. Start eliminating as much external negativity from your life as possible.
Pay closer attention to what you’re watching on TV. Pay closer attention to the people around you. If they aren’t having a positive impact, it’s time to start distancing yourself.
Make just a couple of adjustments in your circle of friends and you can see an incredible difference in a very short time.
I hope I’ve given you some food for thought to help you make healthier relationship decisions.
Please feel free share your thoughts, your successes, and your missteps to help others get better one step at a time. Leave a comment below or drop me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org.