#317 – Do you ever find yourself negotiating with yourself or is it just me?
Recently I started exercising again. I’ve gotten out of the daily habit of working out and am not as physically fit as I’d like to be.
Shortly after I started my workout, I recognized just how out of shape I’ve become. Let’s face it, it’s not a total surprise.
What did surprise me was how quickly I started negotiating with myself. As I felt my muscles stretch out of their amazingly atrophied state, I stated to recognize myself saying, “Well, you’ve got a start. You don’t have to do the whole exercise routine.
You haven’t worked out in months. You don’t have to strain yourself. Start slow. You can quit after the next 10 lunges.”
Then the other side of my brain jumps in and says, “Yeah, but remember why you’re doing this. It’s about getting healthy. It’s about getting back in shape so you feel better.
The pain of starting is only temporary while the pain of not working out is permanent because you’ll feel tired, sluggish, and unable to do the activities you really like doing like biking and skiing.”
Do you ever negotiate with yourself like I do?
I think if you’re honest you’ll find yourself doing it too. It may not be over exercise but it’s probably over something you know you should do and don’t want to put in the effort necessary.
Maybe you’re not dusting the house, vacuuming, doing the dishes, cleaning the car, mowing the yard, or any number of other things. They’re things that should be done but it’s just more effort than you want to put in…until you can’t stand it anymore!
Does any of this sound familiar? Maybe this is the conversation you’re having about dating and your social life.
How many times have you had an invitation to go out for cocktails or dinner with friends yet when you get home after work, the TV and couch are calling, and there you sit.
You’ll fix something simple, maybe heat up some leftovers and watch The Voice, America’s Got Talent, the Bachelor or Bachelorette.
You blew off another perfectly good opportunity to be social by convincing yourself you’ll go out tomorrow, next week, or the next time someone invites you.
Newton’s first law of motion states – An object at rest stays at rest and an object in motion stays in motion…
If you think about it, this applies to people too. It takes effort to get up, get ready, and go out. It takes effort to be social. It takes effort to date.
It’s so easy to put it off by telling yourself “there’s always tomorrow.” Sometimes tomorrow doesn’t come.
What you’ll find is once you get going, once you get in the habit of going out regularly, it gets easier to do. You’ll find it takes less effort and motivation to keep going because of the pleasure you know you’ll derive from it.
If you’re not out being social, there’s a 100% chance that you’ll miss meeting your soul mate.
So many people tell me that God will bring the right one to them and they sit at home waiting.
God will bring the right one to you in the right time. However, you have to put in your share of the effort. He can’t help you if you’re hiding. He can’t help you if you quit looking.
Here’s the point; if you want someone great in your life, you have work to do. I’ve found that the best way to have a great relationship is to do your due diligence up front.
It takes time and effort to find an extraordinary partner. And, it’s always more beneficial to do the hard work of finding the right one up front than it is to work on a broken relationship on the back end.
Lord knows, so many of us have learned that lesson the hard way. Remember the tough times in your relationships and marriages.
Wouldn’t it be great to be in a relationship that you’re not constantly trying to fix? If that’s what you really want, then it’s going to take effort up front.
You have to get uncomfortable. You have to push yourself to get out and do what you need to do in order to find the right person for you.
Just like exercise, it’s never fun at first. It can be painful at times. And just like exercise, that pain is only temporary and comes from building stronger muscles.
The same thing happens when you date. The more you do it, the stronger you get. And just like anyone that wants to get better, whether it’s in the gym, business, or dating, sometimes you need to hire a trainer or a coach.
A coach is going to see things you can’t see and will help you understand what it takes to get you to your goal.
If you’re stuck and don’t know how to move forward, if you’re overwhelmed by dating today and recognize that you could use some help, send me a note by email or Facebook messenger to schedule some time to talk.
I hope I’ve given you some food for thought to help you make healthier relationship decisions.
Please feel free share your thoughts, your successes, and your missteps to help others get better one step at a time. Leave a comment below or drop me an email at email@example.com.
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