Recently a woman reach out to let me know that she was disappointed in the fact that my book, Dating Backward, was a Christian based book.
I suggested that she adjust the name God to whatever she believed in. I shared that I’ve read many books that shunned God or at the very least minimized God’s influence in our lives.
They may have used terms like universe, meditation, and manifesting (which is sending positive energy out to get positive energy back.) I simply substituted God and prayer for those terms.
What that allows me to do is to learn what the author has to say and comprehend it in terms that I understand. Most authors will tell you to do something similar so that you can still gain meaning and understanding from their work.
Are you so closed to new or different perspectives that you refuse to explore new ideas?
The woman I referred to ultimately was. She chose to give away her copy of my book to a book sharing group.
She had already predetermined that she couldn’t learn anything from me because we apparently had opposing religious beliefs.
At least she didn’t throw the book way. Now someone else has the opportunity to learn something new and different.
This got me to think about being open or closed minded.
Why do you want to learn?
Some people enjoy learning just for the shear pleasure of learning. Learning, whether through books, videos, conversations, or hands-on experience helps to stimulate their mind. It’s a source of fantasy, knowledge, or experience used to enhance their lives.
Some people study to affirm what they already know. They want to confirm they’re right or at least that others think like they do.
Are you here to learn new ideas or are you here to be affirmed?
This is an important question to ask yourself. Are you looking to become a better version of you or are you trying to justify staying the way you are?
That’s a really deep question. If you’re looking to have your thoughts and ideas affirmed, it says that you’re not overly interested in exploring other possibilities. Generally, it means you’re closed minded.
If you’re not open to new knowledge, new facts, other opinions, or other possibilities, you limit your ability to grow as a person. You’re closing yourself off to new personal potential.
On the other hand, if you’re open minded, you most likely seek new knowledge and new learning opportunities that can open up a new world of possibilities.
In the world of dating, most women I talk to love an intelligent man. As I’ve said many times, intelligence is sexy…in both men and women. Intelligence doesn’t necessarily come from a college education.
It comes from experience and being a lifelong student. It comes from the attitude that it’s never to late to learn something new.
Learning comes from reading books, listening to podcasts, going to seminars, watching videos, just to name a few ways.
We all learn in different ways. It’s important to know how you learn best. Then absorb as much as you can on subjects that interest you and even some that don’t.
Regardless of how you learn, the key is to keep learning. Personally, I’ve set a goal to read or listen to two books a month.
They’ll vary from business-based books to relationship or personal improvement books to human psychology and biology books.
I also follow a couple of podcasters and enjoy listening to them a couple of times a month.
In today’s technology rich world, it’s so easy to access information and it’s all at your fingertips.
Don’t mentally stagnate. Don’t close yourself off to new learning and potentially a new understanding of the world around you.
Keep an open mind when you dive into subjects that oppose your world view. Even if I don’t agree with a certain perspective, I’ll still listen or read.
Quite often I have been pleasantly surprised that the author or speaker and I shared more things in common than we disagreed on. This allowed me to learn something new.
If I can learn just one new concept from a book, gain one new idea from a podcast, or one new strategy from a seminar, I win.
It’s just that easy. You don’t have to agree with everything anyone says or teaches…including me. Take the ideas that work best for you and disregard the rest.
It’s all about moving forward in life. Hopefully today you can walk away with a slightly different perspective especially if you generally disagree with me.
But really, why would you even think of disagreeing with me? LOL Seriously, it’s okay. You have my permission to disagree with anything I say, do, or teach.
I hope I’ve given you some food for thought to help you make healthier relationship decisions.
Have a great and blessed day.