Are you prepared for a new relationship in 2021?
Today, let’s talk about being prepared for a relationship in the new year.
If you’ve been single for any significant amount of time you’ve undoubtedly developed some habits and routines based on the way you live your life.
You have particular places where you like to put your stuff. You have certain ways of doing things.
Your time is your own and you’re accountable to no one. You don’t even have to be concerned about being addicted to your cell phone.
When you become exclusive with someone all of this will change! There is the potential for a huge disruption in your life!
Sharing time together.
This is the foundation of getting to know each other.
How much time are you willing to invest in your new relationship? Are you willing to make time or are you just going to offer up whatever free time you might have?
Are you jealous or protective of your time with your mate? Are you jealous about the time they choose to spend at work, with family, or with friends?
Is it okay for you to do all the things you want to do but they should devote all their time to you and be there whenever you have time for them?
If you’re going to be in an exclusive long-term relationship, you both should be giving consideration to the time you’re willing to spend together.
You both should be willing to concede time to the other that you would normally reserve for others and other activities. These time concessions should be mutually agreed upon.
Demanding that your partner always be available for you is not only unreasonable, but it may also be the beginning of a toxic, unhealthy relationship.
Disagreeing about the amount of time you spend together will leave at least one of you feeling extremely disappointed, upset, and eventually angry.
Learn to balance time together with the rest of your life’s demands.
Sharing personal space.
Do you have space in your life for someone new? Are your closets full? Is your garage full?
If your answer is yes, what are you willing to get rid of to accommodate your new love interest?
For the record, I’m not promoting moving in and living together. That should be reserved for marriage. However, real world statistics show that most of you will end up living together before marriage.
Is your home a shrine to your deceased spouse? If so, you may not be ready for a relationship yet.
How will your new love feel if your closets are full of your late spouse’s clothes, the garage is full of his tools or a room is filled with her craft projects and supplies?
When you become exclusive, you need to be prepared to share home, your kitchen, and maybe even your bathroom vanity.
Initially this can feel like an intrusion especially if it’s been a while since you’ve been in a relationship. After all, this is YOUR space, your personal sanctuary.
If it feels like an intrusion, start slow. Share time at each of your homes.
A word of caution. Beware of anyone that wants to rush your relationship and move in with you. Make sure they are a keeper and not a taker.
Takers will use your love and generosity for their own gain with little or no consideration for your wants, needs and desires. They may even ask that you add them to the deed for your home.
As long as they’re taken care of, they’re fine. When things get tough, they’ll be gone. Any financial commitments you made to each other will go out the door with them.
This can leave you financially devastated and having to start over, struggling just to make ends meet.
These are just a couple of things that go into discovering your compatibility with someone.
If it’s the right relationship, you’ll find that the adjustments are generally pretty easy. The routines that are important to you will be respected by your mate.
Your mate should be doing the same for you.
There needs to be a mutual respect for each other and a willingness to adjust and compromise on the less important things. Never compromise your values or your morals for any relationship.
I hope I’ve given you some food for thought to help you make healthier relationship decisions.