Is your focus on the past, the present or the future? Hopefully it’s a little bit of all three.
You need to have just a little bit of focus on the past, or hindsight, so you learn from past relationships and mistakes you’ve made.
A little bit of your focus should be on the future. You need to have a clear picture of what you want in your ideal relationship. You need to have a vision of where you want your life together to go.
Without this vision you’ll just flounder around, drifting aimlessly in search of nothing.
Most of your focus needs to be on the present because this is where you live, or at least you should be.
Your past teaches you lessons. Your future gives you dreams and goals. The present is where you harness your experiences from the past and combine them with your dreams and goals.
The present is where all the magic of dating and finding your soul mate happens.
So many people focus on the problems of the past and spend too much time carrying anger and bitterness of relationships gone wrong, of bad dates and bad choices. That’s a really heavy burden that no one should drag around with them.
They haven’t learned from those experiences and moved on. Lately I’ve seen a rash of people that are stuck in the past. They are convinced that the opposite sex is evil and there is really no point in looking.
You name the problem and they’ve experienced it. Liars, cheaters, abusers, and any other adjective you can think of. It’s happened to them and they refuse to let it go. They refuse to leave it in the past.
I’m sure most of you have been on a date with someone like this. All they can do is reminisce about how terrible their Ex is or how bad their last date was.
And odds are they are faultless in anything to do with their past. They are the victim.
What you focus on is what you’ll attract.
When you believe that everyone is evil and out to get you, guess what happens. Those are the exact people you’ll be attracted to. You truly attract whatever you focus on.
So, it stands to reason that if you look for the positive lessons in your life and search for the positive outcomes, you will find positive life experiences.
If you decide that you won’t condemn the opposite sex for your bad choices you’ll actually start to make forward progress in all aspects of life, not just dating.
Use some of your terrible experiences and create some great stories to laugh about with your friends.
Spending too much time dreaming about your ideal relationship isn’t good either.
This means that you’re not spending enough time doing the leg work needed today to find your soul mate.
Don’t get me wrong, you need to dream about your future. But you also need to do the legwork today to make your future a reality.
If you spend all you time dreaming, your future will remain just that…a dream.
While you’re dreaming of your ideal relationship, write it down. Commit it to paper and to memory. Then work backwards and start figuring out how you’re going to make it happen. After that, take action and start dating.
I hope I’ve given you some ideas to make healthier dating and relationship decisions today.
Join me every week for Monday Mastery, Live at 5:00 PM CDT for live coaching and conversation about dating and relationships on Facebook and YouTube. Just follow these links:
Have a great and blessed day.