From time to time I get asked this question and sometimes it’s the statement that there are no perfect people. Consequently, there are no perfect relationships.
To the statement that there are no perfect people, I whole heartedly agree. There is only one that was perfect and He walked the earth some 2,000 years ago.
However, I do believe in soul mates and that two imperfect people can come together in an imperfect world and create something extraordinary.
I believe that two people can be so closely matched that, as imperfect as they may be, they can enhance each other’s lives like no other.
Finding your soul mate is not about searching for and finding a perfect person. It’s about finding that person that is perfect for you.
Too many people get caught up in the idea that they should be looking for a perfect person.
Nothing could be further from the truth. Perfection doesn’t exist. What you should be looking for is someone that compliments you. Not in the “you look beautiful” way, but in a way that makes you a better and happier person.
Their mere presence makes you want to strive for more out of life. It doesn’t matter whether that’s finances, family life, your spiritual life, work, or any other aspect of life.
Together, you’re able to accomplish more than either of you can individually. In my book, Dating Backward, we describe this type of relationship in terms of a mathematical formula, 1+1=1¹⁰.
When the right two individuals come together and become one, a couple, their power to accomplish their goals and dreams is magnified by the power of 10.
You don’t have to amass great wealth. Your strength together may be to raise an amazing family. Maybe it’s to help build a better community. Or, it may be as simple as creating an amazing life together.
Your soul mate should bring light to your life every single day no matter what is going on including when you’re angry with each other.
Yes, there will be days that even the best and the strongest couples are going to have rough patches. Life happens and it’s not going to always be a cake walk even with your soul mate.
I can’t tell you what your dream relationship should look like.
That’s for you to design on your own. That’s why you need to focus on exactly what it is you really want in a relationship. Develop an intellectual, spiritual, emotional, and physical connection.
Speak similar love languages and have a chemistry that draws you together and helps bind you through your emotional connection with each other.
You also have to know what you don’t want. Your Deal Breakers should be like a fence that keeps out the people that aren’t good for you, the ones that can’t or won’t enhance your life.
Your soul mate will bring unique characteristics to your relationship. Embrace those differences because they will add a new dimension to your life just like your uniqueness will add a new dimension to their life.
What an extraordinary relationship is not.
It’s not extraordinary if you can’t be supportive of each other’s goals and dreams.
If there’s any abuse whether it’s verbal, physical, or emotional, it’s not a soul mate relationship. I don’t care how much you think you love each other; these are toxic relationships and not the least bit healthy for you.
Extraordinary is not a battle every day for one or the other to have their way. It’s not about disrespecting the other’s wants, needs, and desires.
Even the greatest relationships have struggles.
Life happens and it isn’t always rainbows, butterflies, and unicorns. However, when you’re with the right person, your soul mate, the really bad days will be not quite as bad and the really good days will be a little bit better just because they’re in your life.
“Life isn’t perfect” said Captain Obvious. It’s thrown all of us curve balls we didn’t expect. It just gets a whole lot easier when you choose wisely.
Don’t let the length of your search deter you from continuing to look. It is a time-consuming process and sometimes very frustrating. The journey to finding your soul mate is what’s helping to shape you into an extraordinary mate for your special someone.
And remember, If you quit looking, you’re making it harder for your soul mate to find you.
If you’ve lost your enthusiasm for dating, can’t pick a good date to save your life, or just struggle figuring out what you want in your next relationship, check out my book, Dating Backward: A practical guide to dating and finding your soul mate. It will give you some great insight to becoming an Intentional Dater.
Until next week, have a great and blessed day.