#112 - Focus on the Big Picture!
One of the most common objections I hear in my seminars is that we can’t have everything we want in a relationship. My response is always; “Why Not?” Then I will hear excuses like “No one is perfect.” and “That’s an unreal expectation.” My response to those are; “You’re right, no one is perfect, but isn’t there someone that is perfect for you?” And, “Why is that an unreal expectation?”
Society teaches us that we need to have things right now. We deserve to have what we want immediately. (By the way, this contradicts “you can’t have everything you want.) There is no longer any waiting, no sacrificing, no effort necessary for what we want. The same has come to apply to relationships. We expect to be able to just go out, find someone and be happy. The problem is that most people don’t know what it is, in a relationship, that they are looking for.
If you’ve been single for some time, patiently waiting and searching to find the right person, you have undoubtedly been asked “What’s wrong with you? Why aren’t you married yet (or at least dating)?”
If you have had one or more poor or abusive relationships you begin to doubt your ability to judge a persons character. You start to believe what is told to you by an abusive mate (or family member). You might even surround yourself with people that don’t expect much from you or your relationships.
All of these questions and thoughts made by the people around you start to plant seeds of self doubt and maybe even lower your self esteem.. You start to question and doubt yourself. You start to believe that you are not worthy of having everything you want in a relationship. When these doubts and fears creep in, they are destructive beyond belief.
How do you get past all this nonsense?
- This is the time when you need to take a step back and think about the type of relationship you want; short-term casual to long-term permanent.
- Get clear about the mate you are look for. What are your Must Haves and Deal Breakers?
- Identify your limiting beliefs. “I’m not good (smart, pretty, etc) enough.
- Challenge the old ideas in your head and change your limiting beliefs.
- Make the process of dating enjoyable.
- Raise your standards both for yourself and those around you. If you need to change the people you associate with, then make the change. “Who you spend time with is who you become!” ~ Tony Robbins
How important is it for you to find your extraordinary relationship? What are you willing to do to find it? Let me know how I can help you.
If you have questions about dating, feel free to drop me a line at [email protected].
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