#128 - You're not good or good enough for me!
That sounds like a pretty harsh statement, but bear with me. Let me see a show of hands form everyone that has been in a poor relationship. Oh, come one now. Don’t be shy! You’re among friends and we’re not here to judge each other. Now let’s see that show of hands again. That’s what I thought. Almost everyone here! At some point in time we have all experienced a relationship that was less than great and that is okay, as long as we’re not making the same mistakes over and over.
All to often we get into a relationship that we think is really good. We work at it, we struggle with it, we try to make changes to our selves and sometimes to the other person (which usually doesn’t last long) and ultimately we find that the relationship is not the right one. It’s not satisfying all of our needs. This is the time we need to be honest with ourselves and the person we are with. There are just some relationships that no matter how hard you try to make it work, it’s not going to happen.
I deserve someone better! Again, this statement might sound pretty harsh. The reality is, if you are being a mature adult and serious about finding the right relationship for you, this is exactly what you should be thinking when you end a relationship or when you are looking for a new one. And, the other person should be thinking the same thing.
This doesn’t mean that either one of you is a bad person. You were both part of the same poor relationship and you both made mistakes. What it does mean is that you both deserve to be with the right person and ultimately both of you will be much happier.
Get rid of the mindset “But, I might not find anyone better.” There is always someone new out there that has everything you are looking for. It’s a matter of continuing to look until you find him or her. Develop the confidence to say “No” to the wrong relationship! This is an important lesson to learn. Everyday I talk to people that have spent months or years in a relationship that was not satisfying or fulfilling. Life is too short to waste time in a relationship like this.
Finally, learn to be happy in your singleness. When you are happy with you and comfortable being single, it will be much easier to spot the right person when they come along because you won’t be making decisions out of desperation and despair.
If you or someone you know has questions about dating or relationships, please send them to me at [email protected].
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