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#143 - Defining Moments!

Most relationships have defining moments. Some of these moments are life changing and some are not. They can take a relationship form poor to good, from good to great, or from great to extraordinary. They also have the potential to end a relationship. First, let’s explore the meaning of a “defining moment”. Dictionaries explain it this way.

A moment in time that defines something, such as a person’s success or failure, achievement or demise, talent, etc.
A point at which the essential nature or character of a person, group, etc., is revealed or identified.

As we look at these definitions, think of some “defining moments” that you have experienced. A couple that come to mind for me are death of a loved one, illness, and job loss. Others that may be less traumatic, but still significant defining moments might be getting caught in a lie, cheating, or stealing. These are but a few of the possibilities for defining moments. Each situation brings its own special challenges to a relationship. How each of person responds will help determine the success or failure of that relationship.

How do you handle any of these situations? Do you withdraw, become quiet, and keep your feelings and emotions to yourself? Or, do you open up and share what you are going through and what you might need in the form of support from your mate? If you did something that hurt your mate or violated their trust, intentionally or not, are you mature enough to admit your wrong doing, make the necessary changes to your life and work on rebuilding or repairing your relationship? Do you deny any wrong doing and blame your partner? Or, do you just walk way and not address the issues? The way you handle these issues will show whether you have strong moral character and your level of emotional maturity.

As the partner of someone going through some of these issues, are you supportive and comforting or do you walk away and leave your mate to take care of themselves? If you have been hurt, are you willing to talk about the issues are do you walk away from the relationship?

I’m not here to tell you what to do or how to respond. I’m here to tell you that what you do and how you handle any given situation can be the difference between success (not without struggle) or failure of a relationship. How you react will demonstrate your moral character and level of emotional maturity. Are you going to stick it out, be supportive and work at making your relationship better, or are you going to give up and walk away?

I have only scratched the surface about relationship issues. Only you can determine whether your relationship is worth working on and fighting for. In many situations there comes a time when you have done all that you can do and it’s time to walk away. When is that time? That is for you to decide. I will tell you that if physical or emotional abuse is involved, you need to walk away! If lying, manipulation or some form of codependency is involved, you should walk away. These are all forms of toxic relationships. Any form of toxic relationship that you may be involved in is one you should walk away from.

Don’t hang on and try to fix or change someone. It doesn’t work. You are wasting your time. It’s time to move on.

If your situation is one of dealing with the stress of an unusual situation such as death, illness or job loss, be as supportive and understanding as you can. If the relationship was a good one, invest the time and effort to help your mate deal with their issues. It will strengthen your relationship in the long run.

Blogs

#143 - Defining Moments!

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