#152 - This isn't the relationship I was looking for!
“This isn’t the relationship I was looking for. It just happened. I feel selfish for wanting to leave.”
I can’t tell you how many times I have heard people say things like this. The reality is that you have made a choice. You decided to try to develop a relationship with someone you instinctively knew wasn’t right for you. You are not unhappy because you have companionship which is something you desire. BUT, you are not happy either, because the relationship is not fulfilling. It is not meeting all of your emotional, physical, intellectual or spiritual needs.
The saddest relationships are those that are mediocre. You compromise with yourself. You settle for less than extraordinary. You are unclear about what you want but know this relationship isn’t making you happy. You may even think that you might not find anyone better. You are paralyzed and are unable to make a great decision for yourself.
The sad part of all this is that because you are attached to someone, the wrong one, the right one can walk in and out of your life without you even knowing it. You see, when most people know that you are dating someone, they will not approach you even if they feel a strong connection to you. Let me give you an example. Bob meets Carol and they have a great conversation. It appears they have a lot in common. Carol reveals that she is dating Ted, but admits that it may not be the greatest of relationships. Bob would really like to date Carol and get to know her better. However, (if he is a decent respectable man) he is not going to make any significant attempt to get in the middle of Carol’s relationship. He might say something like “If you ever get free from this relationship, call me.”
Bob may have been Mr. Right and Carol will never know because by the time she leaves her mediocre relationship Bob has moved on to a great relationship of his own.
Here’s the deal; don’t let a relationship just happen…unless all of the elements you want in an extraordinary relationship are present. The elements include an intellectual, spiritual, emotional and physical connection. He (or she) needs to possess all of your Must Haves, have none of your deal breakers and you have to have chemistry. Yes, this is a lot to expect, but believe me, the end result will be so rewarding.
If you or someone you know has questions about dating or relationships, please send them to [email protected].