#283 - what are you willing to COMPROMISE for a relationship?
Have you ever met someone that you had some really amazing chemistry with? The connection you felt was deeper than almost anything you have ever felt before. It’s an emotional connection the touches the deepest part of your soul.
I’ve been blessed to have met a couple of women like this. Unfortunately, there were circumstances that prevented those potential relationships from working out.
Sadly, most people have never felt a connection that strong or that deep and that’s why most people settle for less. They just haven’t experienced it.
I promise, once you do, you’ll never settle for a connection and a relationship that is less than extraordinary again.
What are you willing to compromise for a relationship?
Not long ago I found myself faced with this very question. I met someone that was nearly a perfect fit…nearly. It all felt so right for the most part and it was so easy to get drawn into all the feelings of having found Ms. Right.
As I learned more about her, I got drawn in deeper and deeper. I wanted to be a part of her life so much that I started to ignore MY boundaries! I started to compromise my wants, needs, and desires.
Infatuation was blinding me to some of the realities of this relationship. It wasn’t until I stepped back out of the infatuation that I was able to see that I was going to have to give up some particularly important values of mine in order to be able to make this relationship work.
It was heartbreaking, but I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t break my boundaries. I couldn’t give up even one of my core values to make it work.
I’ve been told that I need to compromise!
I really dislike the word compromise and all that it implies. To me, this word means that you have to settle. You can’t have everything in a relationship that you want, need, and desire.
Settle a dispute by mutual concession. Accept standards that are lower than is desirable. Those are two of the definitions for compromise. That doesn’t sound like a win/win situation to me. That sounds like lose/lose or at best a lose/win situation.
My idea of an extraordinary relationship is not just a win/win, it’s a win/win/win. That means she wins, I win, and we win as a couple.
Before you start dating, set your standards.
What’s on your Must Have list? What are your Deal Breakers? These are the things you must consider on each date. These are the things that should be your guide to protect your boundaries.
It is so easy to compromise a little here and a little there. Pretty soon you’ve compromised away most of the things that are important to you in a relationship.
This is where most people slip up. It’s so easy to get caught up in great chemistry and feeling a connection so deep that it defies description.
It isn’t until the infatuation wears off months or even years later that you see the relationship for what it really is. In spite of a great connection, you finally recognize that something is missing. You recognize that you’ve settled.
Never settle! Never compromise your values! It takes longer to find extraordinary, but I guarantee you will be well worth it in the end.
I hope I’ve given you some food for thought to help you make healthier relationship decisions.
Please feel free share your thoughts, your successes, and your missteps to help others get better one step at a time. Leave a comment below or drop me an email at [email protected].