#299 - Dating in an immediate gratification society
We live in a world of immediate gratification. If you have any doubt, just look at the advertising you see every day.
When I was a boy, the only forms of communication were the US Mail, the telephone, and face to face conversations. TV consisted of 3 channels courtesy of an antenna on the roof.
The only stores open on Sunday were grocery stores and many businesses closed early on Saturday.
When I was a boy it was a treat to have a frozen TV dinner, not because it was good but because it was unique. It was different. And back then TV dinners were still heated in the oven for 20 to 30 minutes. We didn’t even know what a microwave oven was.
It was a big deal to go to a fast-food restaurant. My favorite was Sandy’s in Superior, WI and that was nearly a two-hour drive so it was a real treat when we could eat there.
Gradually fast food has become a staple in the American diet. Microwaves can be found in every kitchen. Prepared foods are on the shelf of every grocery store.
Today, it’s hard to find a store that isn’t open 7 days a week.
You can carry your music with you on your phone. Back in my youth, you had to wait for your favorite song to make it into the rotation on your local radio station.
When I was in college, I dreamed of having a movie collection like that of Howard Hughes. Movies on VHS tapes were very much in their infancy at that time.
Today I sit and stare at a stack of over 100 of my favorite movies on DVD. More times than not I won’t watch them because I can watch the latest releases on Prime, Netflix, or Hulu.
In days past, if I wanted to check in with the office, I had to find a pay phone. Today, we have our own personal communicators (thank you Star Trek) and we can talk to or text anyone at any time.
Taking time to go to the library is no longer necessary to do research for school projects. Information is now at your fingertips courtesy of computers and the internet.
Life has become so convenient that we barely need to leave our homes anymore.
The point here is that, as a society, we continue to move toward ever-increasing convenience and immediate gratification. Many of these changes initially seem to have been a good idea.
After all, what’s wrong with making life easier and more convenient?
In general, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to make life easier.
There are certain things in life that still take time. Dating and relationships are two of them.
So often I hear how someone expects to be able to date 3, or 4, or 5 people and end up with their soul mate. They’re sadly disappointed after dating just a few people and they’re still single.
They are frustrated, disappointed, and want to give up. Could this be you?
Dating is a matter of numbers especially if you’re just getting back into the world of dating.
First of all, if you’re recently divorced or widowed, you need to take time to figure out who you are and what you want in a relationship.
One of the best ways to do this is to date…and date a lot. Start by dating casually and not focus on finding a new relationship.
This gives you the opportunity to discover character traits that you find desirable in your next relationship. It will also give you the opportunity to discover traits you don’t want.
The odds of finding your soul mate in just a few dates is almost zero. It takes time. It takes effort. And most of all, it takes patience and perseverance.
After a while, dating can become almost like work. When it gets to this point, take a break, renew your attitude, and start up again.
Most important is to not get so burned out on dating that you settle for less than extraordinary or worse yet, give up.
If you need help making better choices in your dating life, I have resources available for you.
Check out this freebie. The 5 Biggest Dating and Relationship Mistakes and How to Avoid Them. Even if you’ve requested a copy in the past, get it again because it has been recently updated. Get your copy at RickSoetebier.com
My book, Dating Backward: A practical guide to dating and finding your soul mate is an excellent resource to give you a more comprehensive look at dating in today’s world. It’s available at RickSoetebier.com under Resources or on Amazon.com.
Last and certainly not least, if you are looking for a more personalized touch, consider individual personalized coaching. I can help guide you through the murky waters of todays dating world. It can be as simple as a single phone call up to a year-long coaching package with other options in between. Request a free consultation by sending me an email at [email protected]
It would be great if you could just date a couple of people and immediately find your extraordinary mate. Finding your soul mate is a marathon, not a sprint.
Be prepared to devote time to your search and make sure you’re looking for the right things for the right reasons. Be prepared to date a lot of people. This is not a part of your life where you can afford to take the easy way out or expect immediate gratification.
I hope I’ve given you some food for thought to help you make better, more informed dating and relationship decisions.