#303 - Feeling overwhelmed with dating today?
How do you start to date in today’s world of crazy?
This is a question I get frequently. It starts with finding someone to have a first date with. I know…I’m being Captain Obvious.
If you’re afraid to date right now, keep reading anyway because you’ll be able to use this information later.
In today’s world of lockdowns and COVID fears, dating is a bit more problematic. It can still be done. It just might take a little more finesse.
Much will depend on your level of fear, risk tolerance, and a bit of creativity.
Please understand, I’m not suggesting that you disregard any of your local restrictions or to throw caution to the wind. I’m simply saying that there are ways to date even with today’s restrictions.
Finding someone to date is always a challenge regardless of environment.
The most common places to meet people still are at work, church, and online. Think outside the box. Go to a bar for events like trivia night. Volunteer in your community. Join social groups online like Meetup or groups on Facebook.
Don’t forget, some of the best relationships develop from your existing friendships so don’t discount friends or acquaintances too soon.
It’s also okay to date someone that’s not your type. You’ll be surprised at some of the great people you can meet that “aren’t your type.” Even if it doesn’t lead to a romantic relationship, you’ll undoubtedly discover traits or characteristics you’d like in your next relationship.
It starts with one date at a time.
If you’re concerned about dating in person right now, there are several ways to overcome this. Start with virtual dating.
Skype, Zoom, and many other platforms allow you to have two dimensional conversations. This means that not only can you hear their voice you can see them live in real time.
Once you’ve gained a certain comfort level you can step up to meeting in person. Side note: when you get to this point it may be advisable for each of you to get tested for COVID just to be sure that you’re not spreading the virus.
So many people get freaked out about getting to know someone. It takes time. You don’t have to learn everything about someone on the first date.
All relationships are built one date at a time. No more, no less. It really is that simple.
You get to see how they interact with their friends, your friends, and even strangers.
Are you sharing quiet time together?
This is a good time to observe each other’s habits and traits to make sure you’re a good fit for each other.
Time should be reserved for deeper intellectual conversations. You should be learning about each other’s lives both the good and the bad.
This is also when you discover each other’s personal preferences in life. Do you like to snuggle or are you each at the opposite end of the couch?
Do they keep a neat and clean house or are they slovenly? Do they take care of their stuff or are they careless with it?
If you keep a neat, clean house and take care of your stuff, are you okay with someone that leaves a mess and is careless with your things?
Dating is all about observing and paying attention.
Sharing common interests.
You need to take time to explore each other’s interests. Are your interests exclusive of your partner or inclusive? Are they things you can enjoy together of do you have to do them separately?
It’s also okay to have some interests that are different than your partner’s. You can come back together at the end of the day and share your experiences with each other.
Remember, through all of this, you’re in control!
You have the right to say Yes or No to anything and anyone. If you both feel a connection, great! If you or your partner doesn’t, don’t try to force it.
It’s okay to ask how they’re feeling about the first few dates. Did it go well? Do you want to go out again? Did we get off to a bad start and should we start over?
Never relinquish control of your life. Never stick around if you’re the only one putting in any significant effort. Remember, the one that puts in the least amount of effort is the one that controls the relationship.
Unless you’re both willing to give 100% to each date and eventually to a relationship, you’re with the wrong person.
I hope I’ve given you some insight to make healthier relationship decisions. I’ll see you next week. Until then, have a great and blessed day.