#365 - Create Clarity for Your Next Relationship.
Do you know exactly what you want in your next relationship? Do you also know what you don’t want? If you’re like most people, you know more about what you don’t want than what you do want.
Searching for a relationship that you can’t clearly define is like setting out on a cross country trip without your GPS or even an old-fashioned paper map! Do you remember using those? If you don’t’ have these tools, how will you know your next relationship is a good one for you?
Your new relationship may seem very magical at first. You’re so excited to see each other, spend time together, and you may even have butterflies, weak knees, or tingly toes. These aren’t the signs of love. These are the signs of infatuation which are a biproduct of your raging hormones.
Remember, when you’re under the influence of infatuation, you don’t see or you just plain ignore any red flags and warning signs of a bad relationship. You’re also not paying attention to whether your new partner has everything you really want in a relationship.
Just like traveling across the country without a map or GPS, you’re negotiating your new relationship by the seat of your pants. You may or may not be on the right road and even if you are, you’re likely to miss your exit.
According to studies, infatuation may not ware off for 18 to 24 months. Wouldn’t it be great if you had a way of figuring out quickly whether someone was worth pursuing further within the first 30 days of dating?
Well, there is a way and it’s pretty simple.
I’ve figured out that the only way to temporarily step out of your infatuation and take an objective look at any relationship is to create a Must Have and Deal Breaker list. This is your Relationship GPS and these are the non-negotiable characteristics you want and need in your next relationship.
By that I mean if you have a list of 20 Must Haves and your new potential mate has 19 of them, what do you do? Remember, these are non-negotiable characteristics you’re looking for.
The first response most people give me is, “well, it depends on what that one thing is.” If your list of Must Haves is truly non-negotiable, the first word out of your mouth should be “Next!”
That may initially sound harsh but if you’re truly looking for your soul mate the last thing you want to do is to settle for someone less than what you want. Now, this doesn’t mean that your potential partner isn’t a good person. It just means they aren’t the right one for you.
Here’s another important point to consider.
If you’re looking for your soul mate, you need to have some serious standards in place to keep you on track not only during the dating process but also to remove the relationship roadblocks that would otherwise appear 20 years after you’re married.
When you avoid relationships that are not what you really want now, you’re saving yourself a lot of headaches, heartaches, and regret from making poor choices in the beginning. Then you’re not left trying to fix something that wasn’t good for you from the start.
Learn to use your Relationship GPS to help you weed out all your potential problem relationships long before they even happen. You’ll be amazed at how simple dating can become.
That's this weeks food for thought.
Having dating clarity is just one part of my Dating Made Simple Method. If you want to learn more, email or message me on Facebook to schedule your Free 30 minute consultation.
Happy Dating!