#369 - Is it God or is it Satan?

Over the years I’ve seen some unhealthy trends in dating and relationships. More and more that trend is to bash men, bash dating, and to just give up on relationships altogether. To me, this is very troubling.

Research bears out my observations. As I mentioned a few weeks ago, two thirds of singles over age 50 will choose to remain single for their remaining years. That’s very unsettling for a number of reasons, not the least of which is the fact that even couples in mediocre relationships generally lead healthier lives and are generally happier than their single counterparts.

There’s no lack of dating and relationship advice out there. Some of it is good and some of it is REALLY bad. Some of the worst I’ve seen comes from the dating philosophers that write about how women have been so emotionally abused.

They glorify how women are now so emotionally closed off and hard to date that any man she dates is going to have to be the equivalent of Jesus. And ladies, you all are eating this stuff up.

The problem with hanging on so tightly to your emotional damage is that you start being so hard to get that you become hard to want. Men that I work with are willing to put in effort to get to know you but you have to meet them halfway.

Dating, and eventually relationships, are a participation activity. If only one is actually participating in the process of planning dates, working at getting to know you, and initiating virtually all contact, it quickly becomes an effort in futility. And nobody wants that!

I made a comment on one of these dating philosopher’s posts that was shared on Facebook. I commented on how if she followed his philosophy she’d end up single and lonely.

Her response was that protecting her heart is the smartest thing she can do until the man shows she no longer has to and that it would be better to be single than to be unhappy in the wrong relationship. I fully agree that it’s better to remain single than to be in the wrong relationship.

However, one has to be vulnerable and open to being hurt again to find true love. If not, the walls are so insurmountable for anyone to break through. The most important lessons come from experience.

Sadly, a large percentage of people never learn from their own mistakes. They finally surrender in frustration and anger only to walk away from potentially the most incredible love that they have yet to find.

This sounds like the work of Satan.
As I was sharing my thoughts about dating and relationships a thought appeared and I finally recognize why I have such a hard time accepting people giving up on dating and relationships.

It’s God. God created us to be in relationship. He created Adam and decided it wasn’t good for the man to be alone. So, God created Eve. And as the story goes, Satan came to tempt them.

I don’t know about you, but I know that I’m happier when I have someone in my life. I walk differently, I talk differently, I have a purpose each day to take care of and nurture our relationship.

I look at the growing negativity around dating and relationships and think, that would be just like Satan to come in and interfere with what God has created.

We all have the opportunity to make decisions every day. Some of those decisions are going to be good and some are going to be bad. We all make mistakes and we usually have to suffer the consequences of our bad decisions. The frustration comes from not learning.

There’s an old saying that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. When it comes to dating, it’s important to examine the choices you make. Are they good or are they bad?

By learning from your good decisions, you know what you can do again and generally get good results. When you learn from your bad decisions, you should learn not to repeat them and how to avoid them in the future, but that’s not what Satan wants you to do.

Don’t let Satan convince you that all men or all women are bad. Don’t let him convince you that searching for your soul mate is a waste of time. Satan would love you to believe that you’re not worthy of an extraordinary relationship.

In fact, it’s the opposite that’s true. God would love for you to be in a happy healthy relationship. The part that’s hard to deal with, at least for me, is that finding your soul mate takes time and effort. It is about making mistakes to actually find out what is important to you and what isn’t.

I hope you’ll take into consideration that evil forces are rejoicing when you make bad choices. They rejoice when you get frustrated and angry. They win when you give up.

Don’t give Satan that pleasure. Keep going and keep looking. If you’re struggling with dating, reach out to me and let’s see if we can create a plan for you to find your extraordinary love.

In the meantime, Happy Dating.