#375 - Would you like to remove heartache from your dating life?
Nobody wants to be hurt in a relationship. Yet it happens every day. It doesn’t make any difference whether you’re a man or a woman, it still happens. Have you ever wondered why?
People come to me and ask why they get cheated on, why they can’t find a great relationship, or even say “if they just changed this one thing, they’d be perfect.” Rarely does anyone take an introspective look into the role you play in all these situations. It’s almost always a look outward.
Can you accept the fact that you’re not the perfect partner for everyone?
There’s so much bad advice floating around online, from therapists, from counselors, and from pastors about dating and finding the right person for you. Most relationships today are broken right from the very beginning.
It does take work but more importantly it takes consistent attention to your relationship to make it work.
Two imperfect people come together and envision a relationship developing. They’re told that there’s no such thing as a soul mate and that there is a lot of hard work to be done to make a relationship work. The problem is that most people aren’t starting with a healthy relationship right from the beginning.
Most people have a vision of what the other person could be and how they COULD be the perfect partner. I’ve done it and I’m pretty sure you have too.
We create a fantasy in our mind of what a relationship could be like with them. The problem is that you’re not looking at the real version of that person. You’re focusing on what you think they could bring to a relationship. All the while you’re missing the things, the reasons that will cause this relationship to fail.
Soul mate or extraordinary relationships do exist. To find one, dating requires discipline that most people don’t have naturally. The good news is that it can be learned and it’s a simple process that boils down to these 6 steps.
- Don’t date while you’re still pissed off at your Ex.
- Know what your Nonnegotiable Must Haves and Deal Breakers are.
- Learn to communicate openly and honestly. No one can read your mind!
- Share your relationship expectations. What are your ground rules for dating?
- Be an active participant in your dating life. Your soul mate can’t find you if you’re hiding.
- Accept the fact that you’ll likely be hurt in the process of finding your soul mate. In the end it will be well worth your effort.
It really is this simple.
Now, you have the foundation to make dating easier. But if you are interested in going deeper, I have you covered in my course, Dating Made Simple Academy.
Dating boils down to doing your due diligence when it comes to finding an extraordinary mate today. What is due diligence? It’s about creating your Must Have and Deal Breaker lists. It’s about building a solid relationship foundation on an Intellectual, Spiritual, Emotional, and Physical connection. It’s about speaking similar love languages. And it’s about chemistry.
Most people find someone they’re attracted to, start dating and hope everything will work out the way they fantasize it could be. How many of you have been in a relationship and have seen so much potential in your partner? That potential could be anything from husband or wife potential, employment potential, parenting potential, romantic potential, or even relationship potential on an online dating app profile.
No matter how much you encouraged them, cajoled them, begged them, or otherwise tried to help them see what you saw, they didn’t change or live up to your expectations. Here’s the thing, you can’t change someone to fit your expectations of what they could or should be. This is one of the reasons relationships fail.
It doesn’t have to be that way though and there are ways to streamline the dating process, make it simpler, and remove most of the heartache that comes with trying to find your soul mate. But, you have to be willing to do your due diligence up front. You have to stop settling for less than what you want, need and desire in your relationship.
When you learn to do these things, dating will become much more enjoyable and you’ll end up with far fewer heartaches. When you’re intentional about what you want in your relationship your decisions about whom to date become almost effortless.
If you’re ready to learn more about Dating Made Simple Academy or to schedule a personal consultation to discuss one-on-one coaching, email me at [email protected]. Let’s see if you’re someone I can help too.