#401 - The 3-Month Dating Rule: Truth or Total Waste of Time?
Have you ever wondered if the 3-month dating rule is the key to a lasting relationship—or just setting you up for failure? Today, I’m going to show you how to use those first 90 days smartly—so you can stop wasting time and start building something real."
Because let’s be real… you don’t need 3 months to know if someone’s a red flag—but you do need a strategy to spot the good ones!
Alright, the first 30 days are where you gather the basics. This is where your ‘Must-Have’ and ‘Deal-Breaker’ lists come in. Think of it like a job interview—except way more fun and with fewer awkward handshakes.
Are they emotionally available? Check. Do they match your energy? Check. Do they still live in their mom’s basement at 45? … That’s a hard pass!
Here’s a pro tip: Pay attention to consistency. If they only text at 11 PM but disappear all day—yeah, they’re not ‘busy,’ they’re playing you.
Once you’re past the first 30 days, it’s time to go deeper. This is where the 4 Cornerstones of Great Relationships come in—because if you’re only connecting physically, but the rest is a mess??...that’s a recipe for disaster.
Cornerstone #1: Intellectual Connection
If every conversation is just ‘wyd’ and ‘lol’… 🚨 We have a problem. Can you challenge each other? Can you talk about more than your favorite pizza toppings? Intellectual connection matters. An intellectually stimulating relationship goes beyond surface-level conversations. It involves engaging in meaningful discussions about topics that interest and challenge both of you, whether it’s current events, philosophy, hobbies, or shared goals. This cornerstone fosters mutual growth by encouraging each other to think critically and expand your perspectives. When intellectual compatibility is strong, it creates a sense of connection that keeps the relationship fresh and dynamic over time.
Cornerstone #2: Spiritual Connection
Your beliefs don’t have to be identical, but if one of you sees life through a spiritual lens and the other thinks ‘faith’ is just a George Michael song… that could be an issue. Do your beliefs align, or are your spiritual lives going in different directions? I’ve observed that being on the same page spiritually can radically improve you relationship by removing a significant roadblock, paving the way for greater harmony and understanding. Shared beliefs and values create a strong foundation that unites you in life’s most meaningful decisions and moments. When you align spiritually, it enhances your ability to face challenges as a team, guided by a common purpose or faith. Even if your beliefs aren’t identical, having similar perspectives fosters deeper connection and minimizes potential sources of conflict, allowing your relationship to thrive on mutual respect and shared principles.
Cornerstone #3: Emotional Connection
Here’s the truth: You can’t build a relationship on guessing games. If you can’t be vulnerable, share fears, or feel supported, that’s not a relationship—it’s an emotional rollercoaster. An emotional connection is the heartbeat of a thriving relationship, creating a space where love, trust, and gratitude flourish. It’s about feeling seen, valued, and supported by your partner, cultivating a sense of serenity and confidence in your bond. Openly sharing your feelings builds intimacy and strengthens the foundation of trust, making it easier to navigate life’s ups and downs together. This connection fosters a deep contentment, where both of you feel safe to be authentic, appreciated for who you are, and uplifted by the mutual care and understanding you share.
Cornerstone #4: Physical Connection
Yes, attraction is important. But jumping into physical intimacy too soon can cloud your judgment. That’s like test-driving a car and buying it just because the seats are comfy—without checking if the engine works! A physical connection is an essential aspect of a healthy relationship, encompassing both mutual attraction and intimacy. While physical attraction can spark initial interest, it’s important to approach physical intimacy with intentionality, as it has the power to create strong emotional bonds that may cloud judgment about the other three connections—intellectual, spiritual, and emotional. Choosing to wait for physical intimacy until after marriage allows time for these deeper connections to grow and ensures that the relationship is built on a foundation of shared values, trust, and understanding. By prioritizing attraction within the boundaries of respect and waiting for intimacy, you set the stage for a more meaningful and enduring relationship where physical connection becomes a beautiful and natural expression of your lifelong commitment.
Alright, so what if you get to month three and something feels off? Look for these deal-breaking signs:
đźš© They avoid deep conversations.
đźš© They’re inconsistent or emotionally unavailable.
đźš© You’re making all the effort.
If any of these hit home—listen, you don’t need to stay another 3 months hoping they’ll change. Cut your losses, move on, and find someone who’s actually worth your time."
Alright, here’s your homework—take 15 minutes today to update your ‘Must-Have’ and ‘Deal-Breaker’ lists. Trust me, your future self will thank you!
Now, I know that navigating dating can feel overwhelming, especially when you're trying to figure out if someone is truly the right fit for you. And let’s be honest—sometimes, you just need a little extra guidance to avoid the frustration of wasting time on the wrong people.
That’s exactly why I offer personal coaching—to help you get clear on what you really want, spot red flags early, and build a relationship that actually lasts.
So, if you’re ready to take the guesswork out of dating and move forward with confidence, Click Here to book your free 30 minute Discovery Call. Let’s work together to find the right person for you!