#409 - Divorce is Preventable: The Key to a Lasting Relationship Starts with Better Dating Choices
Divorce is one of the most painful experiences a person can go through. The emotional toll, financial strain, and impact on families can be devastating. Yet, what if I told you that most divorces are preventable?
It all starts long before you ever say, "I do." The key to a successful marriage isn’t about fixing problems once you’re already in too deep—it’s about making better choices while you’re dating.
The Myth of "Fixing" a Broken Marriage
Many people believe that love can conquer all, that commitment alone will carry them through the hard times. While love and commitment are essential, they aren’t enough if the foundation of your relationship is weak. Too often, couples get married hoping that issues will magically resolve themselves over time.
But the truth is, marriage magnifies the problems that were already present during dating. If you ignore red flags or settle for a relationship that doesn’t truly fulfill you, those issues don’t disappear after the wedding—they only grow stronger.
Why Divorce Happens
Divorce doesn’t happen overnight. It’s the result of small, unchecked problems that build up over time. Some of the most common reasons for divorce include:
- Lack of Communication: Couples struggle to express their needs and feelings in a healthy way.
- Unrealistic Expectations: People enter marriage hoping their partner will change or expecting marriage to "fix" everything.
- Incompatibility: Fundamental differences in values, goals, or lifestyles that were ignored during dating.
- Infidelity: Emotional or physical affairs that often stem from unmet needs within the marriage.
- Financial Stress: Differing spending habits, debt, and financial instability create tension.
Each of these issues can often be traced back to the choices made during dating. When you don’t take the time to truly understand who you’re with—or when you rush into commitment without evaluating compatibility—you set yourself up for potential heartbreak.
How to Make Better Choices While Dating
If you want to avoid divorce, the best thing you can do is date with intention. Here’s how:
- Know What You Want (and Need)
Too many people settle for a relationship out of loneliness or pressure rather than truly considering whether the person is a good match for them. Before you start dating, take time to define what you truly need in a partner—not just what you think you want.
Look beyond surface-level attraction and consider deeper qualities like emotional maturity, shared values, and long-term compatibility.
- Pay Attention to Red Flags
Ignoring red flags is one of the biggest mistakes people make while dating. If someone shows signs of dishonesty, emotional unavailability, controlling behavior, or a lack of respect early on, those traits won’t magically disappear once you’re married.
Trust your instincts. If something feels off, don’t dismiss it.
- Prioritize Communication
Healthy communication is the foundation of any successful relationship. If you and your partner struggle to communicate openly and honestly while dating, marriage will only amplify those challenges.
Talk about your expectations, values, and future goals. Discuss how you handle conflict, finances, and family dynamics. The more you communicate now, the fewer surprises you’ll face later.
- Don’t Rush Commitment
Many people jump into serious relationships or marriage because they feel pressured by time, family, or societal expectations. But rushing into commitment often leads to choosing the wrong partner.
Take your time. Spend enough time getting to know someone on a deep level before making life-altering decisions. True compatibility isn’t something you discover overnight—it takes time and experience together to reveal whether a relationship has lasting potential.
- Evaluate Emotional and Mental Health
Unresolved personal issues can sabotage even the strongest relationships. If you or your partner have past traumas, insecurities, or emotional wounds, it’s important to address them before committing to marriage.
A healthy, lasting relationship requires two emotionally whole individuals. Therapy, self-reflection, and personal growth are all valuable tools to ensure you’re truly ready for a lifelong commitment.
The Bottom Line
Divorce isn’t just about what happens after marriage—it’s about the choices you make long before you walk down the aisle. By dating with intention, prioritizing communication, and being honest about compatibility, you can significantly reduce the chances of ending up in a broken marriage.
You don’t have to go through the pain of divorce. The power to build a lasting, fulfilling relationship is in your hands. Make better choices now, and you’ll set yourself up for a love that stands the test of time.
If you’re ready to take control of your dating life and build a strong foundation for a lasting relationship, check out my online course, Dating Made Simple Academy. This step-by-step program will help you navigate the dating world with confidence, avoid common pitfalls, and make better relationship choices. Click here to learn more and start your journey to finding the right partner today!