#43 - Do you know how to forgive?
Forgive: to stop feeling anger toward (someone who has done something wrong) : to stop blaming (someone)
to stop feeling anger about (something) : to forgive someone for (something wrong)
Do you know how to forgive?
Throughout our lives we will encounter people that hurt or offend us in any number of ways. And, inevitably we cannot make it through life without hurting or offending someone (intentionally or unintentionally). Have you learned how to forgive those that have hurt you? Have you learned to ask for forgiveness from those you have hurt? And, have you learned to forgive yourself for mistakes your have made?
In my younger life, I had very little forgiveness. I was more interested in revenge, getting back at those that had wronged me. As I have aged and hopefully grown wiser, revenge is no longer of much interest. I am much quicker to forgive…but not necessarily forget
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I have found that forgiveness is not about the other person. It is about me. When I forgive, I stop carrying the burden of anger, blame, rage, hate, frustration, just to name a few negative feelings.
It is not easy to let go of the anger if we have been hurt. It is even harder to have to swallow our pride and ask for forgiveness if we have done something wrong. It always seems easier to hang on to our ill feelings or grudges, but it really isn’t.
Learning to forgive was one of the hardest lessons I have had to learn. In fact, the first time I told someone that I forgave them, I didn’t even believe it in my heart. Over time though, as I reminded myself that I had forgiven someone, my negative emotions faded away and future forgiveness became much easier. I started believing in the forgiveness I offered and asked for. By learning to forgive, you release yourself from the burden of any number of negative feelings and you are free to live a much happier life.
Finally, learning to forgive does not mean learning to forget. It is a mistake to forget the lessons we learn from being hurt or the mistakes of hurting others that we make. Remembering should help us learn not to allow people to intentionally hurt us or to purposely deceive us. Forgiveness does not mean you should become a pushover for anyone that doesn’t have your best interest at heart!
By learning to forgive and leaving many of your negative feelings behind, you also become a much more attractive person for a potential mate. This is part of becoming a “better you.”